i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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