Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
