nut hugger
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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