So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
