If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its about making memories worth repressing
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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