im drinking this country out of the recession.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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