I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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