My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
