Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
