I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
