this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
