WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
