if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
