All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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