Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize