Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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