JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
