Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize