Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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