I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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