i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
