Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
