Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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