Your mouth is God's brothel.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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