so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize