yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
