Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
