it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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