It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
