there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
