White coat. Heels.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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