it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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