I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
