i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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