Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
