OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
