just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
