He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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