Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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(734): View more from Michigan

So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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(345): View more from Cayman Islands

Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful

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(302): View more from Delaware

Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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(217): View more from Illinois

I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.

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(812): View more from Indiana

The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.

(503): View more from Oregon

I'm on the job.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...

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