Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
