Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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