We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
