one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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