i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
