Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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