Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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