i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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