you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's great music for shaving your balls
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
