just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
