Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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