I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize