i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
