Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
