yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
