Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
